One morning, Hodja’s neighbour asked; “Last night we heard noises coming from your house. It sounded like something falling down the stairs. What happened?”
Hoca replied; “My wife threw my robe down the stairs.”
“Come on, Hodja! A robe doesnt make that much noise.”
“But l was in it,” Hodja said.
Nasreddin Hodja’s fellow villagers were always trying to baffle him with abstract questions.
“How long will people continue to be born and to die?” they asked one day. Nasreddin Hodja was unruffled.
“That’s an easy one.” he said, “Until, of course, the heaven and the hell are completely full.“
The people asked the Hodja:
“Hodja Effendi, can a hundred year old man have a child?”
“If he has neighbors, 20-30 years old! he can!”
©nasreddinhodja.com
When Sultan Temur came to Akshehir, the Hodja went to bid him welcome. Of course, he didn’t forget the typical Turkish custom, and brought him a roasted goose. On the way to Temur, the smell of the goose and his hunger forced him to eat. So he ate one leg of the goose.
When Temur saw it with one leg he became very angry, because he himself walked with a limp and he was called ‘Limping Temur’. He thought that the Hodja was making fun of him.
“Where is the other leg of this goose”, he shouted angrily.
Having seen some geese behind Temur standing on one leg Hodja replied: “In our country the geese have only one leg as you see right there!”
“Nonsense”, shouted Temur. Then he ordered his men to chase the animals away. The geese began to run on both legs.
“You, lier!” shouted Temur. “They have two legs!”
“No, Sir”, said the Hodja. “If you were chased like that, you could grow an extra two and run on four legs”
©nasraddinhodja.com
At a dinner everyone was telling riding stories.
“What are you going to tell us?” said the people to the Hodja.
The Hodja, who hadn’t a real story, began to invent one:
“When I was at the farm of my friend Mehmet, they brought out a mustang. It was a beautiful horse, but no one could ride it. First, one man tried, but he was unsuccessful. Then the other, then another, but nobody could ride it. The son of Mehmet tried but he was unsuccessful too. At last it was my turn. I caught the horse and of course…” At that moment the son of Mehmet entered the room and the Hodja finished his story: “Of course I couldn’t either.”
©nasraddinhodja.com
Somebody asked:
“Hodja Effendi, why do people go to different directions, when they leave their houses in the morning?”
The Hodja answered:
“If all of them would go to the same direction, this would throw off the balance of the world!
One day, a neighbor asked Hodja:
“Do you have a vinegar that is forty years old?”
“Yes I have”, replied the Hodja.
“Can you give me a little”, asked the neighbor.
“If I gave a little to everybody asking for it”, said the Hodja, “It would not be forty years old!”
Nasreddin Hodja puts some food in his saddle-bag and sets out. At noon, he sits under a tree by Lake Akşehir. He eats some bread, olives and a bowl of yogurt merrily in the shadow. While he is shaking the bowl of yogurt, someone sees him and asks: “What are you doing, Hodja?”
“I’m leavening the lake.”
“My God! Can the lake be leavened? Is that possible?”
“I also know that it can’t, but what if it becomes leavened!”
© Erdinç Babacan
Nasreddin Hodja buys some books about the Holy Koran and its interpretation; and rudiments of Islam. He puts them in a large bag. He takes the bag on to his back and rides his donkey to the village. The people who see Hodja on the way ask: “Oh, Hodja! Why did you take the bag on to your back? Hodja answers: “What can I do? The poor animal always tolerates me. Anyway, it is carrying me, and so I don’t want it to carry the bag as well.”
© Erdinç Babacan
They ask Hodja: “Effendi, who is greater, the Sultan or farmer?”
Hodja says: “Of course the farmer,” and adds: “Because if the farmer doesn’t grow wheat, the Sultan dies of hunger.”
© Erdinç Babacan